A Day in the Life of Bagsby Jones, Bull Dog P.I.

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Bagsby Jones, Bull Dog Private Investigator, was on the case!

He wrinkled his brow, sniffed the air, and vigorously kicked his hind legs.  He rarely took the time to relieve himself while on the job, but, this particular deposit had been necessary.  Call it an emergency that couldn’t wait, or, an accident waiting to happen; either would be true.  Feeling his tummy rumble, he grimaced, and vowed to pass by the next road kill.  Bagsby surmised it must have lain in the sun for too long.  He vowed the next time he came by such a find, he’d take it home to the cat.  He snickered at the thought.

Bagsby scanned the busy street, and was relieved to find that his target had yet to round the corner of Big Bills Butcher Shop.  He was so thankful the poop stop had not hindered the mission at hand, that he sent up a silent “thank you” to Pooch Heaven.

All four of Bagsby’s short, but muscular legs, carried his stocky, body towards the perfect hideout.  He had spent weeks watching and calculating the moves of the big guy, and Bagsby was confident this was the perfect place for the ambush.

Stifling a bark of laughter, Bagsby began to back into a small space between two large trash cans.  This maneuver proved difficult, as the space was quite small.  He grunted a cuss word, or two, and wiggled his booty back and forth, until he finally squeezed into the tiny opening.  Had it only been yesterday that he had been able to back in with ease?  Bagsby was baffled, until he remembered the road kill, and realized the tainted stuff must have given him gas.  A repetitious rumble, sneaked out his back door, giving credence to his assumption.  The confined space captured the ripe fragrance, and wafted it to his nose.  Bagsby curled his upper lip, scowled, and cursed the road kill, but then he thought about the cat, and smiled.

His mischievous day dream, of poisoning the cat, dissipated at the sound of a distant whistle.   Harmonious whistling had always preceded the big guy’s approach.  Bagsby, reigned in his thoughts to the task at hand.  He knew his target was close, so he tensed his body, and readied himself for the ambush.  Sure enough, the whistling grew louder as the target rounded the butcher shop.  After a moment he could hear the big guy’s footsteps, so he hunkered closer to the ground, in preparation for the attack.  Bagsby could barely contain his excitement.

“Wait for it…wait for it…not yet,” he chided….wait for it…wait… ”

Then it happened!  Shoe leather, and blue fabric entered his field of vision.  Without hesitation, Bagsby lunged his bull-dog frame forward, but his bloated body wedged to a halt.  The noise startled the big guy dressed in blue, and when he caught sight of Bagsby ricocheting between the two trash cans, he screamed, and ran down the busy sidewalk, dodging the passerby’s.

Bagsby feared his target would escape, but adrenalin and another slippage of gas propelled him forward, toppling over both trash cans.  He hit the ground running, booking it in the direction of the fleeing man.  When he was within striking distance he jumped with teeth bared and jowls flapping in the wind.

Bagsby came down on all fours, with a mouth full of leather.  Proud of his conquest, he vigorously shook the leather bag, spraying a cascade of stamped envelopes to the wind.  Bagsby dropped the satchel, sat on his haunches, and smiled.  He enjoyed watching the array of colors fall all around him.

After they had settled, Bagsby knew it was time for his finishing touch.  He waddled over to the leather bag, and for the first time, he noticed it had the big guy’s name stitched on the front.  Bagsby saddled up close, lifted his hind leg, and christened Mr. Newman’s mail bag.

Afterwards, he kicked his hind legs, and happily headed towards home, after all, he had a cat to feed.

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No reprieve in a dog’s life!

Well Now…Isn’t That Embarrassing!

(The challenge:  Write something using a one word prompt.  The word:  Embarrassing )

embarrassed
Photo From Animal Planet

 

scene I:  subject (author) is alone writing a list of her most embarrassing moments

“Hmmm…what are my most embarrassing moments?  Several scenarios come to mind…but which to choose…which one to choose…?   Hmmm…let me think…okaaaaaay… maybe I could write about…

  • all the times I’ve barged into a room only to see someone naked
  • the time I was caught mooning my cousins
  • the time my grandma spanked my bare bottom
  • the time  I was bullied in kindergarten because my banana was too ripe
  • the time I couldn’t hold my water in second grade
  • the time my hand was smacked by the principal in second grade
  • all the times I wet the bed
  • the time I burst out crying in church because the pastor said Elvis went to hell
  • the time I was so scared that I forgot my memory verse and cried in front of the whole congregation
  • all the times I sat through sermons on homosexuality, knowing in my heart I was gay
  • the times in school when some bully said I had been beat with an “ugly stick”
  • the times I was bullied for having red hair and freckles
  • the time as a teenager, I parried an imaginary sword -in my underwear- across the baptistery, unaware of the on-going chapel service
  • the time I fell off the treadmill because someone flirted with me

AND…saving the best (or should I say the worst) for last…

  • the time I passed gas in church…unfortunate for me the chair was aluminum

 

scene II:  subject is still sitting alone and pondering

“I guess I could write about one or maybe a little something about all…should I or shouldn’t I…?  Nah…I’m just way too embarrassed for anyone to know.”

scene III:  subject gets up for more coffee…cat walks across lap-top accidentally pressing the “publish” key.  

closing scene:  fades to blush red

-Fin-

the chair

Participation in Daily Post

For all things creepy and paranormal visit my blog Creepy Reflections

 

Welcome To My World

Daily Prompt:  Write whatever you normally write about, and weave into the mix song titles. 

My response:  Welcome To My World

 

Luna punched my face with “The Eye Of The Tiger”  so I said goodbye to sleep, rolled out of bed and asked her, “What’s New Pussycat?”  She swished her tail, ran like like “Bat Out of Hell” and slid  into the kitchen like a “Wrecking Ball” of fur.

Like a “Zombie” I followed, but not as fast as she.  I stumbled to my Kurig with a slow “Locomotion” and got it to perk with “Good Vibrations.”

“After The Lov’n” of warm cup of Joe,  I gather the trash because it’s Tuesday.  “I Walk The Line” from door to curb and bid a “Bye, Bye, Love” to the trash, I laid and left it lying there like a “Refugee”  Back at the house I “Turn, Turn, Turn” to make sure no trash was a  “Blowing In The Wind.”

A pair of eyes, from a fat beagle dog, was busy “looking Out My Backdoor.”  I opened the door and said, “Hello Dolly” “You Light Up My Life” even though you ain’t nothing but a “Hound Dog.”

I caught my dingo, doing the “Boogie Ooogie” and “Rocking Around The Christmas Tree.”  She saw me watching, and grinned  as if the say, “The Bitch Is Back” and “Oops I Did it Again.”

I chuckled and said, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”…”Just Dance!”  Go ahead and “Party Like It’s 1999!”

“Welcome To My World”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Day In The Life of Bagsby Jones: Bull Dog P.I.

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Bagsby Jones, Bull Dog Private Investigator, was on the case!

He wrinkled his brow, sniffed the air, and vigorously kicked his hind legs.  He rarely took the time to relieve himself while on the job, but, this particular deposit had been necessary.  Call it an emergency that couldn’t wait, or, an accident waiting to happen; either would be true.  Feeling his tummy rumble, he grimaced, and vowed to pass by the next road kill.  Bagsby surmised it must have lain in the sun for too long.  He vowed the next time he came by such a find, he’d take it home to the cat.  He snickered at the thought.

Bagsby scanned the busy street, and was relieved to find that his target had yet to round the corner of Big Bills Butcher Shop.  He was so thankful the poop stop had not hindered the mission at hand, that he sent up a silent “thank you” to Pooch Heaven.

All four of Bagsby’s short, but muscular legs, carried his stocky, body towards the perfect hideout.  He had spent weeks watching and calculating the moves of the big guy, and Bagsby was confident this was the perfect place for the ambush.

Stifling a bark of laughter, Bagsby began back into a small space between two large trash cans.  This maneuver proved difficult, as the space was quite small.  He grunted a cuss word, or two, and wiggled his booty back and forth, until he finally squeezed into the tiny opening.  Had it only been yesterday that he had been able to back in with ease?  Bagsby was baffled, until he remembered the road kill, and realized the tainted stuff must have given him given him gas.  A repetitious rumble, sneaked out his back door, giving credence to his assumption.  The confined space captured the ripe fragrance, and wafted it to his nose.  Bagsby curled his upper lip, scowled, and cursed the road kill, but then he thought about the cat, and smiled.

His mischievous day dream, of poisoning the cat, dissipated at the sound of a distant whistle.   Harmonious whistling had always preceded the big guy’s approach.  Bagsby, reigned in his thoughts to the task at hand.  He knew his target was close, so he tensed his body, and readied himself for the ambush.  Sure enough, the whistling grew louder as the target rounded the butcher shop.  After a moment he could hear the big guy’s footsteps, so he hunkered closer to the ground, in preparation for the attack.  Bagsby could barely contain his excitement.

“Wait for it…wait for it…not yet,” he chided….wait for it…wait… ”

Then it happened!  Shoe leather, and blue fabric entered his field of vision.  Without hesitation, Bagsby lunged his bull-dog frame forward, but his bloated body wedged to a halt.  The noise startled the big guy dressed in blue, and when he caught sight of Bagsby ricocheting between the two trash cans, he screamed, and ran down the busy sidewalk, dodging the passerby’s.

Bagsby feared his target would escape, but adrenalin and another slippage of gas propelled him forward, toppling over both trash cans.  He hit the ground running, booking it in the direction of the fleeing man.  When he was within striking distance he jumped with teeth bared and jowls flapping in the wind.

Bagsby came down on all fours, with a mouth full of leather.  Proud of his conquest, he vigorously shook the leather bag, spraying a cascade of stamped envelopes to the wind.  Bagsby dropped the satchel, sat on his haunches, and smiled.  He enjoyed watching the array of colors fall all around him.

After they had settled, Bagsby knew it was time for his finishing touch.  He waddled over to the leather bag, and for the first time, he noticed it had the big guy’s name stitched on the front.  Bagsby saddled up close, lifted his hind leg, and christened Mr. Newman’s mail bag.

Afterwards, he kicked his hind legs, and happily headed towards home, after all, he had a cat to feed.

 

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10 Lessons I learned From Bugs Bunny

Writing 101 Day 2:  Today, let’s write a list.

Today, write your own list on one of these topics:

  • Things I Like
  • Things I’ve Learned
  • Things I Wish

10 lessons I learned from Bugs Bunny:

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  •  “I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.”  —–Wrong turns are like shit:  It happens!  Recognize it, change it and stop feeling guilty about it.
  • “Gee, ain’t I a stinker!” ——Nobody’s perfect…that’s okay…just be yourself.  
  • “Eh…What’s up Doc?”-——Ask lots of questions…even if they don’t want you to.  Refuse to stop learning.
  • “Carrots are divine…you get a dozen for a dime.  It’s magical!” —Enjoy the little things for in them you find peace and happiness.
  • “My, I bet, you monsters, lead innnnnnnnteresting lives.”—Diversity Rocks!  Embrace it.
  • “Stop steamin’up my tail! What are ya tryn’ to do….wrinkle it!”—  Don’t tread on the rights anyone….everyone should be treated equally. 
  • “Just a minute partna’you can’t talk to me like that, them’s fightin’ words”   Freedom is worth the fight.
  • “Well, what do you expect in an opera?  A happy ending?”  —There are no guarantees and sometimes you don’t get the happy ending.
  • “Jumpin’without a parachute?  Kind of dangerous, ain’t it?” —-Prepare and have a plan.
  • “Don’t take life too seriously.  You’ll never get out alive” Lighten up and have fun!

Don’t underestimate the value of cartoons.  Do yourself a favor…watch a cartoon!  You’ll be surprised what lessons you learn.

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