Accept, Celebrate, And Pamper Your Body

me and rm  glassesBlushing is no stranger to me.  It has been my companion since as far back as I can remember.  Sometimes I think I am the queen of blushing.  In school I was always the awkward kid who blushed far too easily.  I even blushed about blushing.  It became a vicious cycle, and being shy and introverted only added to the pain.

Shame became a part of my life early on.  I remember the very first time I felt shame.  Perhaps, around the age of 3, give or take a year, I found myself lying on a table looking up at the big man standing over me.  The big man, our family doctor, opened my legs and examined my “private” area.  As he pulled apart every tiny fold, I was consumed with guilt, shame and humiliation.  Of course, my mom was in the room, but for some reason her presence caused me even greater embarrassment.  In that moment my life-long battle with body-shaming began…and sometimes the battle rages on.

I’ve wasted years of my life thinking myself too ugly, too fat, and never-ever good enough.  It has taken most of my life to get to the point  to where I love my body.  Through a lot of mental health work, I’ve finally arrived at this stage in my life where I accept, celebrate, and enjoy pampering my body.

I’ve accepted I’ll never have a barbie-doll appearance.  Who the hell does anyway?  Look around…not many.  There may be a lucky few, but, more often than not, the desired appearance is reached only through abuse and starvation.  I make a point to daily accept my body where it is at this moment in my life’s journey.

I’ve learned to celebrate my body, after all, it is amazingly and wonderfully made.  Our bodies are nothing less than walking miracles upon the earth.  They are complex, and each intricate part does its own special task to move, breath, and exist as a whole.  Even God celebrates our bodies, and who are we to argue with God?   The Genesis’s record sums His appraisal of us, “…God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself…Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way.”  Learn to celebrate your body, because your creator does in spades!

I pamper my body everyday.  I’ve stopped dieting, and instead I eat more of the foods that keep my body healthy.  I learned to taste and enjoy new foods…new recipes.  I exercise more, and add new activities to my regime to keep it interesting.  I’ve found the more active I am, the more my body craves activity, and so I pamper it with fun things to do.  While in the shower I make a point to pause and to really feel the warm water, and the frothy lather from a bar of Dove soap.  I’ve tried and discovered new lotions and perfumes for my body.  I’ve found that if I love my body, it will love me back.

I encourage you…make a decision to accept, celebrate, and pamper your body.  At times the old shame will rear it’s ugly head, and when it does love your body all the more.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made!

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     I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
                                                      And my soul knows it very well.                                                       (Psalm 139:14)

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Daily Prompt:  Blush
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You Were Our Anchor

(I should apologize for the following blog as it is raw and unedited… as are my emotions.  Therefore it seemed ridiculous to go through and make corrections…this is how feel unedited and raw…) (forgive me)

I was floored this morning from a text.

Just as usual I got up to get my coffee going.  I looked at my phone fully charged on the kitchen counter, and saw I had a text.  Curious, of course, I picked it up and touched the green logo with the white cloud.

Someone who had helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life had been murdered.

My heart sank, and I think I went into a mode of disbelief.  I didn’t cry, but I felt so sick to my stomach.  I felt like a zombie as I pulled up information from the internet of this dear lady’s last moments of life.  Corinne, my wife, got up and walked down the hallway, peeped her head in the doorway, and asked me what I was working on.

I told her the horrible news, and she cried like a baby.

What the hell was wrong with me????

I couldn’t cry.

I felt like a clueless zombie…I sat like an idiot, and watched my wife cry.

All day I sat, and my mind couldn’t stop thinking of the horrific news.  The news sat and incubated within my mind.  I just could not believe it.

Finally at about 5 pm it smacked me between the eyes…and I cried…

Dear Dr Alford, I’m so sorry for what you went through.  I wish I could take it back…I wish I could kill the son-of-a-bitches that did this to you, before hand.  If I had only known I would have, it would have felt so damn good.

I guess it’s foolish to think in such terms.  No one can turn back the hands of time.

If only I could.

Thank you, dear lady for helping Corinne and I during one of the most horrific times of our lives.  When the community wanted chase us out of town…when I had death threats upon my life…when Corinne lost the practice she loved dearly…you were our anchor.

You opened your arms, and gave us a safe place to be.  You opened your arms and you celebrated the love Corinne and I had for each other, when everyone else despised it.

I’m not sure if I told you just how much your counsel meant, but dear lady…it was everything…it kept me from committing suicide…as well as Corinne.

I love you, Dr Alford.

I hope you are at rest with Jesus.

I look forward to the day when I can tell you, how much you mean to me… face to face.

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Incubate 

It’s Only Wrinkles

“You are growing old, and much land remains to be conquered.”                    [God to Joshua]

 

It seems I see a new wrinkle each day.  Ok…maybe I’m dramatizing a bit, but isn’t that a writer’s prerogative…?

But, seriously, now that I’m over 50 I’m seeing things in my face that certainly were not there yesterday…  Well, it seems like yesterday…

I look at people my age and say of them, “Damn…you’re getting old.”  Of course I don’t say this aloud, but nonetheless, it plays within my head throughout the course of my day.

I see other people’s wrinkles, but fail to acknowledge mine, until I look into a mirror, and see my mother.  For a brief second, I’m filled with joy at the sight of her, and then, I realize it’s only me.

Once, God told Joshua, “You are growing old…,” BUT… He didn’t stop with those four words, He continues with “and much land remains to be conquered!”

Now as a writer, I paraphrase God (remember…writer’s prerogative…) to be saying…

“So whaaaaaaaat, you’re getting old.  What’s the big deal?  Get over it, there’s still a lot to do!”

Hopefully, the next time I look in the mirror, and see a new wrinkle, I’ll hear God saying, “So whaaaaaat…it’s only a wrinkle, and there’s still a lot of doing to do!”

 Then I think He’ll remind me of all the things that need doing:  (God is cool that way)

Gardening…

Painting…

Reading new things…

Walking and Running…

Sipping wine…

Tasting craft beers…

Spending time with friends, and tasting craft beers…

Playing with dogs…

Petting cats…

AND

Eating pizza…can’t forget the pizza!

Every time I ponder all these, my favorite things, my heart is comforted.

So, my friends (who look older than me), take heart!

Enjoy life…there is much left to do!

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Even in old age they will still produce fruit, they will remain vital and green.  Psalms 92:14

 

Daily Post:  Wrinkle