I was told, by a family member, in a round about way, through social media, that all respect for me was lost. Gone…
No, no names were used, but I knew…sometimes…you just know.
Why did they lose respect?
Because I used words like “Fuck,” “God Damn,” “Go to Hell,” in response to, what I believe to be, one of the worst mistakes America, has ever made, by putting Donald Trump in the White House.
Let me stop…right there…
…you may need time to digest the shitty meat taste in your mouth. (Vegetal…?)
I know I did…
But here’s the thing, I really hate shitty meat, so instead of keeping it inside, I spewed it out, all over Facebook, late Tuesday. Yep, you get the picture…I vomited for the whole world to see.
Sometimes you have to vomit. It’s good for the soul.
In that space, and in that time, I needed to do just what I did…in order to keep some form my sanity. I needed to lash out, I was mad as hell, angry and I can’t “just get over it.”
How can I get over a power that has the ability to rip my life to shreds?
You may have lost respect…and that’s okay….I understand.
Does it hurt? Hell yeah, it cuts deep.
But you know what…it also hurt when my loved ones labeled me an abomination.
This past Christmas, hurt like hell, with sounds of silence.
It hurts when I’m not invited… It hurts when I’m shunned, by those who claim to love me.
That’s not love…but rather religious hate. Often it appears in the form of “Love the sinner hate the sin” or even worse, “Come out from among them, that they may be ashamed.”
If you love someone, you share your life with them…you eat with them…you laugh and cry with them, you don’t shut them out of your life because of who they love. I want to be loved for me…for the me that’s always been…me. I want to be included. I want to have family reunions. I want to sit around and talk about the good ole days. I want to look at old pictures…I want to share stories about the best mama in the world…
I want…but I can’t.
I do apologize for the way I expressed my anger, but I will never apologize for my anger, for who I am, or for who I love. It ain’t happening.
Before you judge…stand in my shoes…
What if you were told, as a heterosexual couple…”No…you can not marry who you love?”
That’s what I fear will happen to me, under a Trump presidency.
Freedoms will be taken away…but not for everyone…just a few.
Let it sink in….
…it’s not a good feeling…