My mom went through many trials during her life on this earth. She lived years in an abusive marriage. Her young son, 23 years old, was killed in a logging accident. One dark night she stood outside and watched her house and almost everything she owned burn to the ground. She was a single mom who worked hard to make ends meet, and to feed her children. In spite of all these trials my mom was a fighter. That doesn’t mean she was never knocked down, after all, each of the above horrors would humble even the strongest among us. No, she hurt, she cried, and she fell many times, but she always got back up.
As a child I witnessed many of her struggles, and I witnessed the pain she endured through each one. I remember seeing my mom cry more than she smiled, but the one thing she made sure of was that I knew how much she loved me. I never doubted my mom’s love. It was her love that carried me through the trials of my childhood, and even though she has passed, her love still lives within me and carries me every day.
I am at awe of how she made it through each trial. Sometimes I try to put myself in her shoes and I wonder how I would’ve handled domestic violence, seeing all that I owned burn to the ground, and the death of a child. I feel confident I would have lost my mind.
Since I’ve been on this fast, I have been thinking a lot about my mom, and about the testimony she had among those around her. She was always kind, and always willing to help anyone in need. Everyone on Wood Street knew if they came to Bessie Hardy with a need that she would do everything within her power to supply that need. That was just who my momma was.
There’s one verse in the Bible that I heard her recite over and over again, and I will always attribute it to her. Ephesians 6:13-14 “Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Stand therefore…” I remember my mom saying that one day when she was ready to give in to all the pain God lead her to this scripture. Verse 14 continues, but on that particular day, God gave her a different perspective and she read it as “Having done all to stand, stand.” God was telling her to just keep standing, and He would be her strength. And that is what my mom did her whole life.
While on the Daniel Fast, I’m reading a book that coincides called…of all things…The Daniel Fast by Susan Gregory. Each day, of the 21 days, has its own devotional that is filled with the promises of God. One being Isaiah 40:31, “…They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
On this fast, over and over I am led to the idea that God is working in my life, even if I don’t see it, or feel it. God has given assurance that He is with me, and that He has plan for me, but I must be patient to wait for his perfect timing. In the midst of financial insecurity, I feel him whisper, “…having done all to stand…stand.” Another portion of scripture that has cropped up over and over is James 1:3-4, “Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”
I have a week left of eating a restrictive vegan diet. That part of my journey has gone well…and I confess my body feels better. I have lost about 7 pounds which is a nice added benefit. I’m planning on continuing some of the good habits I’ve learned such as eating more “real” food and less processed food…no artificial sweeteners, to go easy on the sugar…and to nurture the spirit as much as I nurture the body.
However, I can visualize that first cup of coffee and of it I can’t wait to indulge.
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Redhead Reflections 