That’s What I Call A Grand Slam!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Grand Slam.”

In your own life, what would be the equivalent of a walk-off home run?

1398881_10202549229916967_277776572_o“Geeeeez….go away…,” I say to Luna who keeps pawing my face.

“I’m sleepy…girls…get…go away…,” Dolly and Danica look into my drooping eyes as if to say, “Come on Mama, the sun is out and we need to pee.”

Luna meows and paws my face again while Dolly puts her little paws on the edge of my bed and looks at me with her goofy beagle face.  Danica, the bold one of the bunch, leaps on the bed and licks me in the face.

“Okay…Okay…,” I say and sleepily manage to roll out of the bed, trudge down the hall and open the back door for the eager Danica and Dolly.  I barely have the door cracked when they both vie for the opening and fish tail back and forth until they successfully squeeze through.

My intentions were to climb back into my comfy bed but dammit I’m too awake.

Luna, sitting by the food bowl, looks at me as if to say, “What’s taking so long?  C’mon hurry up…chop chop!”

I make my way to the kitty food and stumble over Morris who has been sitting patiently, probably for hours.

Hmmm…just like me to step on the only animal in the house with manners.  I try to console my ginger boy, but his feelings are hurt and skirts under the kitchen table to pout.

“I’m so sorry, boy.  I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Luna, who’s completely fed up, pins back her ears and meows grumpily.   “C’mon already!  I’m freaking starving!”

Worried about Morris, I look toward the table and see two golden eyes looking back at me.  He gazes at me and ponders whether or not to forgive me my misstep.

As I fill the food dish, Luna dives in before I’m done, causing kitty kibble to bounce off the back her head and on to floor.  The wayward kibble continues its journey and doesn’t rest until its under the table with Morris, who, without hesitation, gobbles it up.

Hmmmmm…guess all is forgiven…

I look at the coffee pot and then towards the bathroom and wonder which urge to satisfy first.  I answer nature’s call, thinking, coffee would taste better on an empty bladder.

My business done, hands washed, I turn towards the door with nothing on the brain but coffee, creamed with sugar.

“Hey…hey…fatty two by four!  Don’t you dare walk through that door!”

Stunned, I take an about face to stare at the bully lying on the floor.  The bathroom scale smirks and giggles with the knowledge of knowing he’s captured my attention.

We stare each other down with what seems like hours and then he goes and does the unthinkable.

He sticks out his tongue.

That’s it!  I can’t take it anymore!  Full of rage, I lunge, jump as high as I can and come down, full force, with both feet, landing on top of the bully.home-run-real-estate-investing1

Then he howls with laughter and I know I’ve been had. Yep, I fell for his trap hook line and sinker.

Chagrined, and feeling used, I put my hands over my ears to muffle his laughter.

I look down and see his eyes rolling back and forth.  It seems like an eternity and then they stop and defiantly stare back.  The numbers register and I’m dumbfounded.

Slowly, I slip my hands from my ears to cover my mouth but was too late to contain the hysterical laughter escaping the gaping hole.

Hot damn I’ve lost a pound!

Now that’s what I call a GRAND SLAM!

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