If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?
I’m probably dating myself, but to be fair “The Honeymooners” had long since become re-runs, before I sat cross-legged in front of the old black and white television. I still chuckle when I think of the antics of Ralph, Alice, Ed and Trixie.
For all you “young-ins” out there, scratching your heads and mumbling, “Who the heck are Ralph, Alice, Ed and Trixie…” perchance you may have seen Family Guy’s version of the old Jackie Gleason comedy.
Below, I’ve posted for your viewing pleasure the old rendition and the new.
I will get back to the pompt and answer its question, but please, if you will, humor me, as my OCD hops down this bunny trail.
And there you have it…my rabbit trail is complete.
[I will add this: Even though I found this comical as a child, part of me is disturbed that it pokes fun of domestic violence. As do a lot of old shows…even I Love Lucy, which I love. This is a subject for a future blog, for sure.]
Okay, back to the moon!
The question was: If I could zoom through space at the speed of light what place would I choose?
My answer: With such power, I would twinkle my nose and, just like that, within 1.5 seconds, I would be on the moon. If there happened to be roadway to the moon the same trip by car would take 130 days. I’m not that patient and my nose is itching to wiggle…so here goes!
“One thousand and one…one thousand and…..” POOF!
Before the count of three I’m over 238,000 miles on the Earth’s largest natural satillight, the moon. I open my eyes and realize I’m standing in it…moondust. My feet are submerged under 6 inches of a fine powdery substance. Moondust is a much like flour, but instead of soft it is rough as “spiked” sand and extremely hazardous. Neil and Buzz had tons of problems with the clingy stuff during their visit.. It got in their boots and in the ship and even gave the astronauts moon-hay-fever. Once inside it wasted no time eating away at everything it touched. Prolonged exposure to moondust could cause a total breakdown of their protective suites and cause the airlocks in the ship to fail.
Before the moondustt wrecks havoc on my feet I decide it’s time to move. I had assumed walking would be fun and easy, after all with less gravitational pull I would only tip the scale at 29 pounds.
I was excited by the prospect of being so weightless and light on my feet. I wanted to run and run like a mad woman, breaking every personal record I had set on Earth.
Sadly, my dream dissipated the moment I tried to jump. Walking on the moon was difficult because of that darn moondust! In fact, in order for the astronauts to move faster and change directions they had to make like a kangaroo and jump. Check it out:
Being the rebel, that I am, I ditch the idea of being a kangaroo and become a bunny instead. . (Bless goodness, at least I can be a bunny on the moon! HA! Take that, Hefner!) With cotton tail in place I begin to make my way around the moon. The footprints from my hi-pity hops would go undisturbed for millions of years due to a lack of wind and water. Talk about leaving your, “I was here” mark!
As I look around, I see that man had indeed left his, “I was here” mark. There was a whopping 400,000 pounds of moon trash. Okay, to be fair to Buzz and Neil, there were no candy wrappers, banana peels or soda cans. The trash left by man consisted of space probes, lunar rovers, debris left from experiments and lastly big containers of astronaut poop…96 bags full. (Yes, you read that correctly)
Having said that I am ready to say goodbye to the moon, and it’s a good thing since one day here will cost me 29 on Earth! With things to do and places to go, it’s high time to twinkle my nose and head home!
It seems I may be late for a very important date…with another Alice.
“One thousand and one…one thousand and….”
After-log: While doing research for this blog, I came across many interesting facts about the moon. The following are just a few. Enjoy.
1. The moon is not two-faced. Okay it does have two sides; however it only shows one side to Earthlings. (some people should learn that lesson from the moon)
2. Many scientist agree, the moon was formed from the debris left over from a collision between Earth and Theia, a planet the size of Mars.
3. We see the moon as a white glow; however the surface of the moon is dark.
4. Shadows on the moon are much darker than those on Earth. Everything out of direct sunlight is pitch black.
5. The moon is not round but egg shaped.
6. Astronauts suits weigh 178 pounds on Earth but only 30 lbs on the moon.
7. An outer space treaty exists proclaiming the moon to have the same jurisdiction as international waters. Nations can only use the moon for peaceful purposes. It bans all weapons and military bases.
8. There’s a whole lot of shaking going on! Their are moonquakes that last 10 minutes and register 5.5 on the Ricter scale. This baffles scientist because the moon, unlike the Earth, is void of tectonic plates. Some speculate the moonquakes could be a result of Earth’s tidal activity.
9. The moon is a burial ground. Eugene Shoemaker, a famous astronomer, dreamed of becoming an astronaut, but was unable to because of a medical issue. Eugene never gave up hope. In 1998 NASA launched the Prospector and on board were the ashes of Mr Shoemaker, to be spread upon the moon’s surface.
10. Science has proven that our sleep cycle is disturbed by the full moon. Most of our worst nights for sleep occur during a full moon. Maybe that’s the cause of all the monster/scary stories about the full moon.