Good morning love,
You were the first thing on my mind this morning…as always.
The weeks right after you passed, I would wake up wanting your arms around me, so I would turn to your side of the bed to cuddle, but your place was empty. In that moment, a cocktail of loneliness, desperation, and fear dropped heavy upon my soul . It felt more than I could bare; so, I’d lay there in the dark silence letting the tears washed my face…not wanting to live the nightmare that had become my life.
Now when I wake my psyche knows you’re gone. I don’t wake up looking for you anymore, instead, my heart awakes already missing you. Sometimes I miss you so much it hurts, and nothing really helps the pain.
It’s been five months since I’ve heard your voice and felt your kiss. I do have two voice mails on my phone, but I’ve only listened to it once and I cried like a baby. Hearing you tell me you love me rips at my heart, and the reality of never hearing you again takes the breath from my body.
I remember when I came home from working late, I’d open the door and the first thing I’d hear was, “Hey Sweetie! How was your day?” You were so perky. On my bad days the last thing I wanted to do was talk about my day, and now I’d give anything to hear those words again. I’m sorry for the times I took you for granted. I wish I had been more attentive to you…and now it’s too late.
You were my soulmate and now it feels like half of me is missing. Baby, you took part of me with you, and I think I’ll never feel whole again.
I love you so much and I always will.
Until next time keep watch over me.
You are my angel
All of my heart…